The Inner Circle of Control: Where Real Change Begins

The Weight We Carry

How often do we find ourselves holding on to things beyond our control? A conversation that didn’t go as planned, a reaction we wish we could change, a future outcome we desperately want to secure. It’s human nature to crave certainty, to feel a sense of power over the world around us. But when we grip too tightly to what we cannot change, we invite anxiety, frustration, and exhaustion into our lives.

This week, a recurring theme emerged in my therapy discussions—the struggle of holding on to what we cannot control. It’s a battle between our inner world and the outer world, between what we can shape and what we must surrender to.

The Inner Circle vs. The Outer Circle

Picture two circles:

🔵 The Inner Circle – This is what we can control. Our thoughts, our reactions, our choices, our boundaries, our effort, our self-care, and our mindset. This is the space where we have true power, where we can create change, and where we can cultivate peace.

⚪ The Outer Circle – This holds everything we cannot control. Other people’s opinions, their actions, the past, the future, unexpected events, societal pressures, and so much more. The more we focus here, the more powerless and drained we feel.

The Shift: From Resistance to Release

When we shift our energy to our inner circle, we liberate ourselves from the weight of uncontrollable outcomes. We learn to trust the process, to embrace uncertainty with grace, and to focus on what truly matters—our response.

By releasing the need to control everything, we allow life to flow. We create space for growth, opportunity, and even joy. We begin to see that we do have far more power than we realize—not in controlling the world, but in shaping our experience of it.

Focusing on our inner circle allows us to be fully present, to anchor ourselves in the now rather than getting lost in the past or anxious about the future. It is in this presence that true healing begins. As we nurture our thoughts, emotions, and responses, we tend to the inner wounds that keep us stuck. By doing so, we cultivate self-trust, resilience, and clarity. And with this deepened self-awareness, we can finally release the outcome—knowing that we have done our part, and that peace is found not in control, but in surrender.

Daily Practice for Letting Go

The next time you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself:

✨ Is this in my control?
✨ If not, how can I release my attachment to it?
✨ If yes, what action can I take today?

By returning to this practice, we reduce anxiety and reclaim our energy for the things that truly matter—our peace, our happiness, and our power to create the life we desire.

What’s one thing you’re holding onto that you cannot control? And what’s one thing within your power that you can focus on instead?